in-person in bozeman, mt & frisco, tx and online across MT, TX, FL, SC & VT
BETRAYAL TRAUMA THERAPY
Support AND CLARITY for partners impacted by infidelity, porn addiction, and sexual betrayal.
Everything feels unstable, and you’re not imagining it.
Discovery of betrayal - whether through infidelity, porn addiction, or other hidden sexual behavior - can feel like the ground has dropped out from under you. You may be feeling shock, hypervigilance, anger, grief, confusion, or a constant sense that you can’t fully relax. Many partners tell me they feel torn between wanting answers and wanting distance, between trying to hold things together and feeling completely overwhelmed.
You may have been told - directly or indirectly - to “let it go,” “forgive,” or even “walk away,” even though your body and mind are still in crisis. And, the reality is, this isn’t the time to make life-changing decisions. You need time and steady, trauma-informed support. That means stabilization and safety first. What you’re responding to isn’t just relational stress, it’s trauma that needs specialized support.
What your body is feeling is an understandable reaction to a rupture in trust and safety. Betrayal trauma occurs when someone you depend on for emotional or relational safety becomes the source of harm. The nervous system responds accordingly - with heightened alertness, intrusive thoughts, difficulty sleeping, and swings between fury, despair, and numbness.
These reactions aren’t a sign of weakness. They’re the body’s attempt to regain safety after a significant violation of trust. Therapy isn’t about convincing you to feel differently - it’s about helping your system stabilize so you can regain clarity, agency, and a sense of stability.
You aren’t overreacting.
Therapy for betrayal trauma isn’t about attacking your partner or assigning permanent labels. It’s about acknowledging impact, restoring safety, and supporting healing with honesty and care. We’ll hold space for accountability and complexity. Partners can be hurt deeply without the addicts being reduced to villains, and healing doesn’t require minimizing what happened. We know, because we’ve done this work ourselves.
Our approach allows therapy to be effective, especially when both individuals are seeking growth, even if they’re at very different places in the process.
This work isn’t about blame.
How will therapy help?
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Our early work focuses on helping you feel steadier in your body and mind, so you’re not living in constant fight-or-flight, reducing overwhelm.
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We’ll support you in understanding what you need and what matters to you - without rushing forgiveness, reconciliation, or major decisions.
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Together, we’ll acknowledge and name harm and its effects, without turning therapy into a space for attacks or defensiveness.
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Our work together will center on your healing and integrity, regardless of the future of the relationship.
What we’ll work on together:
Stabilization and safety, first
We begin by helping you regain emotional and physiological steadiness, so therapy doesn’t add to the overwhelm. This means incorporating things like breathwork, meditation, and gentle exercise to our work so that your body feels safe to process your trauma.
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Making sense of what happened
Therapy helps you process the reality of the betrayal in a way that reduces confusion and self-doubt, rather than amplifying it. This work supports you in trusting your own perceptions again, so you’re not constantly questioning what’s real
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Addressing trauma responses
Oftentimes, betrayal trauma can also bring up previous traumatic experiences from our past. When appropriate, trauma-focused approaches such as EMDR are used to help your system process what it’s been holding
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Rebuilding trust - internally and relationally
This includes restoring trust in your own perceptions and boundaries, and, when appropriate, exploring what relational repair would actually require. Once you feel confident and grounded in your own work, we can include couples therapy and therapeutic disclosure, if you desire.
FAQs
COMMON QUESTIONS
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No. Therapy is not about rushing decisions. The early focus is on stabilization, clarity, and helping you feel grounded enough to understand what you need before deciding anything.
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While the impact of betrayal is acknowledged, and we’ll guide you through what to expect from your partners work, our work centers on your healing, restoring a sense of safety, trust in yourself, and emotional steadiness.
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Yes. Your healing does not depend on your partner’s participation. Beginning therapy individually helps you gain clarity and strength regardless of what their partner chooses to do.
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Healing doesn’t require knowing every detail, but some couples want therapeutic disclosure as part of their process. Disclosure is approached thoughtfully, with attention to timing, containment, and your well-being - minimizing additional trauma rather than intensifying it.
